Why is Congress like a cold?

Because sometimes the ayes (eyes) have it and sometimes the no's (nose).

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Nose Jokes More Nose Jokes

What did Jesus say to the man with leprocy?

OOPS! GOT YOUR NOSE!

What do you find in an empty nose?

Fingerprints.

Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

What do you call a pig with three eyes?

Piiig

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

Dinner

Aye Jokes More Aye Jokes

What is a pirates favourite part of a fish?

The aye

What did pirate say when he turned 80?

AYE MATEY

Cold Jokes More Cold Jokes

What does an aardvark use when he has a cold?

An ant-ihistamine!

What is faster hot or cold?

Hot because you can actually "catch a cold".

Congress Jokes More Congress Jokes

What's the difference between Personal Injury lawyers and Congress?

A: No fee--If No Recovery!

How many US Congress members does it take to change a lightbulb?

Only one. They just hold it still and wait for the world to revolve around them.