Congress Jokes

What bill is the Congress's favorite?

Of course the $ bill!

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What's the opposite of progress?

congress.

How many US Congress members does it take to change a lightbulb?

Only one. They just hold it still and wait for the world to revolve around them.

Whats the difference between congress and a US mint?

One of them makes sense!

Whats the difference between congress and parliament?

Ones filled with a bunch of baboons and the other just doesn't give a hoot during the day.

What's the difference between congress and a circus?

One is a Cunning array of Stunts...

What do you call a group of Idiots?

Congress

What is the opposite of pro?

Con. What is the opposite of progress Congress.

What's the difference between Personal Injury lawyers and Congress?

A: No fee--If No Recovery!

Why is Congress like a cold?

Because sometimes the ayes (eyes) have it and sometimes the no's (nose).

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Con Jokes More Con Jokes

What do you call a snowman who cons people?

A snowfake.

What's the opposite of pro?

Con. So what's the opposite of progress

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a women's argument and a knife?

The knife has a point !

Whats the difference between Mashed Potatoes and Pea Soup?

Anyone can mash potatoes!

Bill Jokes More Bill Jokes

How are you going to pay for that?

Oh, just put it on my bill."

Why couldn't the pig pay his bill?

He was a little shoat.

Sense Jokes More Sense Jokes

What do you call a punchline that makes no sense?

A Bobbitt

How do you get an elephant into a Safeway grocery bag?

You take the "S" out of safe and the "F" out of way. One of my all time faves. If you say it out loud it will make sense :D

Aye Jokes More Aye Jokes

What are the ten letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye! Arrrr! & the Seven Seas!

What did Goku say when he heard his wife listening to the song, "Fancy"?

Aye, Chi-Chi, Why?

Circus Jokes More Circus Jokes

Why dont Egyptian Chefs do well in the circus?

They always fal-afel off the tight rope.

Whats the difference between a circus and The Rockettes?

The circus is a cunning array of stunts...

Cunning Array Jokes More Cunning Array Jokes

What's the difference between a magic show and a brothel?

Ones a cunning array of stunts. . .

What's the difference between a chorus line of blondes and a magician?

A: A magician has a cunning array of stunts.

Mint Jokes More Mint Jokes

Whats the difference between congress and a US mint?

One of them makes sense!

What do you call someone who sings about mints?

A "Minstrel".