How many idiots does it take to change a light bulb?

Five - one to hold the bulb, and four to turn his ladder

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Bulb Jokes More Bulb Jokes

How many atheists does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to actually change the bulb, and the other to videotape so Christians can't claim God did it.

How many professional soccer players does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to change the bulb, and five to hug and kiss him.

Ladder Jokes More Ladder Jokes

How many Survivors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One to start screwing it in and the rest to vote 'em off the ladder.

Why did the students need a ladder to get into school?

It was a high school.

Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

How many men does it take to make popcorn?

Four one to hold the pot and three to act macho and shake the stove.

What do you call a monkey holding a stick of dynamite?

A Baboom!

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

How many Scots didn't turn up to vote?

One in Fife

Why did the Canadian DJ turn down a gig at a local gym?

Because why MC, eh

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many accident-prone people does it take to change a lightbulb?

We're on our sixth.

How many NRA members does it take to change a light bulb?

A: More guns.

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

What's your favorite racial (but not racist) joke?

How many South Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb? A Brazilian!

How many Chuck Norris' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, no light bulb dare go out in the presence of Chuck Norris.

Idiot Jokes More Idiot Jokes

How many idiots who ask stupid questions does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Change it to what

Where do idiots go on holiday?

Twitzerland.