How can you tell a vampire has a cold?

They start coffin.

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Start Jokes More Start Jokes

Why did the hipster burn his tongue on his cup of free-trade coffee?

Because he started drinking it before it was cool.

How many times should you try starting your snowblower before you realize it's not going to start?

According to my neighbor it's 458 times.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell which nurse is the head nurse at a hospital?

She's the one with the dirty knees.

How do you know a stranger could be an engineer?

Don't worry they'll tell you.

Cold Jokes More Cold Jokes

What do Elsa and a necrophiliac have in common?

The cold never bothered them anyway......

Why is Congress like a cold?

Because sometimes the ayes (eyes) have it and sometimes the no's (nose).

Vampire Jokes More Vampire Jokes

What do you call a vampire after it is one-year-old?

A two-year-old vampire.

What's the difference between a ginger girl and a vampire?

One bursts into flames in the sunlight, and the other is a vampire.

Coffin Jokes More Coffin Jokes

What do you called a prince-sized bed?

A coffin.

Why did the vampire go to the doctors?

Because he was coffin...