How can you tell a vampire has a cold?

They start coffin.

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Start Jokes More Start Jokes

What sort of a car has your dad got?

I can't remember the name. I think it starts with T. Really - Ours only starts with gas.

What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it?

An envelope!

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you tell a hypocrite from a normal person?

The hypocrite's the one that exists.

What do Ryan Giggs and Imogen Thomas have in common?

I'm not allowed to tell you

Cold Jokes More Cold Jokes

What do you call a peanut with a cold?

Cashew! she was so proud of herself for making me laugh with this one.

How many Russian leaders does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Nobody knows. Russian leaders don't last as long as light bulbs. A: None the old bulb is just suffering from a cold.

Vampire Jokes More Vampire Jokes

Why did the vampire go to the doctors?

Because he was coffin...

Why is it difficult to punish vampires?

They can't reflect on what they've done.

Coffin Jokes More Coffin Jokes

What is the similarity between a cough syrup and an undertaker?

They both take away the coffin.

What is the difference between a cello and a coffin?

A: The coffin has the corpse on the inside.