How can you tell a vampire has a cold?

They start coffin.

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Start Jokes More Start Jokes

How do you start a Mexican bedtime story?

Juans upon a time.

How many Survivors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One to start screwing it in and the rest to vote 'em off the ladder.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Why should optometrists never tell jokes?

Because they're too cornea.

What did the apple tell the annoying orange?

Citrus down.

Cold Jokes More Cold Jokes

What has four legs and goes 'Boo'?

A cow with a cold.

What did the sick fish say when he got sick?

I've cod a cold."

Vampire Jokes More Vampire Jokes

What's the difference between a vampire with toothache and a rainstorm?

One roars with pain and the other pours with rain.

Why does vampire Superman want to go out?

Because he doesn't want to be around the crypt tonight. (you can tell i made that up)

Coffin Jokes More Coffin Jokes

What is the similarity between a cough syrup and an undertaker?

They both take away the coffin.

What would Marilyn Monroe being doing if she were alive today?

Clawing at the lid of her coffin.