Why couldn't the pirate use the bubblegum vending machine?

Because there is no quarter for the wicked.

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

How does a cougar obtain the perfect tan?

She uses a perfect son.

What did the coffee shop owner's wife say when she discovered he wasn't using Free Trade beans?

That's grounds for divorce!"

Pirate Jokes More Pirate Jokes

How do pirates agree with each other over long distances?

With their aye-phones.

Why did the pirate with the eye patch drown?

Because he had no depth perception.

Quarter Jokes More Quarter Jokes

What did the pay phone say when the quarter got stuck inside it?

Money's tight these days!

Why couldn't Led Zeppelin play pinball?

They had No Quarter