What do you want your husbands gravestone to say?

Wife: "Nothing. I want a traditional, non-talking one."

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What's yours?

ME: "I write and want to dir--" "GUNSHOT*

Why was the monkey attracted to the paint?

Cuz it was yellow and appealing! Sorry if this is bad. Seen too many of the same jokes here and I wanted to add an original joke.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Where are the groceries?

ME: Bacon was on sale. WIFE: Oh god, what does that mean *sound of dump truck backing into driveway*

What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?

About 45 pounds. What's the differece between a husband and a boyfriend 45 minutes

Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

What is cleverer than a talking cat ?

A spelling bee !

How do you get your wife to listen to every word without interrupting?

Talk in your sleep.

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?

45 minutes.

Why couldn't the witch get pregnant?

Her husband had a holloween-ie.