What does a tree do when it wants to go home?

It leaves.

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What's yours?

ME: "I write and want to dir--" "GUNSHOT*

Why did the devil buy so many shoes?

He wanted their soles.

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

Why did the marble countertop leave the kitchen?

It was tired of being taken for granite.

What did the wife say as she left her Mexican husband?

I'm sorry but I love another Juan.

Tree Jokes More Tree Jokes

Why did the koala fall out of the tree?

It was dead.

What types of trees never get Christmas presents?

Knotty Pines.