What does a vegetable use to change a flat?

Asparagus...

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What begins with S, ends with X and will change your life?

Smallpox

How many Dependent P.D. does to take to change a lightbulb?

None he's still clinging to the old lightbulb.

Asparagus Jokes More Asparagus Jokes

What do you need to fix it?

Asparagus. (A spare, I guess)

How did the vegetable farmer fix his flat tire on his truck?

with asparagus...