What does its job only after its been fired?

A bullet.

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Bullet Jokes More Bullet Jokes

Who is the prettiest of my friends?

Me: your mother, why W: Stop acting like you're 12. M: (thinking) I dodged that bullet again.

What's the difference between Michael Brown and Darren Wilson?

Only one of them knows how to dodge a bullet.

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

How to make a dog meow or your cat bark?

Freeze your dog and then take an angle grinder and use it on your dog and it Will say meeeeeow. Dunk your cat in gasoline and light it on fire and it Will say woof

Why did the worker on the egg farm get fired from his job?

Because he had a crack addiction.

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

How did Bob loose his job at the sperm bank?

He was always drinking on the job

Why was the distracted man fired from his job at the distillery?

Because he couldn't concentrate