What is the best way to follow a lost dog's paw prints?

With a track-tor!

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What makes me want to lose the will to live?

r/Jokes!

What is the most inappropriate thing to say to someone who just lost their job?

You had one job.

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How many Deadheads (Grateful Dead fans) does it take to change a lightbulb?

No one knows, they wait for it to burn out and follow it around for twenty years.

What is a water bottle's favorite game to play?

Follow the litre.

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What's the best way to save on toilet paper?

Slow your roll.

What's the best way to keep milk from turning sour?

A: Leave it in the cow.