What is the definition of an optimist?

A: An accordion player with a pager.

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What's the definition of macho?

Jogging home from your vasectomy.

What's the definition of a narrow squeak ?

A thin mouse !

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What did the optimist say as he jumped off the building?

So far, so good.

What did the optimist say to his doctor when he found out he had lung cancer?

Well, I'll deal with this asbestos I can!"