Optimist Jokes

What did the optimist say to his doctor when he found out he had lung cancer?

Well, I'll deal with this asbestos I can!"

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What does an optimist call the World Trade Center?

San Diego.

What are your strengths?

I'm an optimist and a positive thinker." "Give me an example" "When do I start "

What's the difference between a optimist, a pessimist and a realist?

The optimist sees the light at the end of the tunnel. The pessimist sees nothing. And the realist sees the train.

What did the optimist say as he jumped off the building?

So far, so good.

What is the difference between Russian Optimist Pessimist and Realist?

An Optimist learns German. A Pessimist learns Chinese. A Realist learns AK-47.

What is the definition of an optimist?

A: An accordion player with a pager.

How many optimists does it take to change a light bulb?

Who says it's dark

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World Trade Center Jokes More World Trade Center Jokes

Why was the World Trade Center in a hurry?

It had a plane to catch.

What does an optimist call the World Trade Center?

San Diego.

Japanese Jokes More Japanese Jokes

What does a Japanese man do when there's an erection?

He votes!

Where did the little Japanese girl go when the little boy dropped by?

Everywhere.

Ak47 Jokes More Ak47 Jokes

What is the difference between Russian Optimist Pessimist and Realist?

An Optimist learns German. A Pessimist learns Chinese. A Realist learns AK-47.

What do you call a terrorist holding an AK47 to your head?

Sir.

Asbestos Jokes More Asbestos Jokes

Why did people use insulation containing deadly toxins?

It was asbestos they could do at the time!

Why do carcinogens want to give us cancer so badly?

Because they're trying asbestos they can.

Life Jokes More Life Jokes

What do you call someone who isn't a redhead but colors there hair red later in life?

A trans-ginger

Where have you been all my life?

Please go back there.

Deal Jokes More Deal Jokes

What's the deal with airplane peanuts?

I mean, seriously, are they seeing anyone?

Why don't casinos in Las Vegas hire girls from California?

Because they, like, can't even deal.

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

Why was John Lennon shocked when he got his wife's gynecologist bill?

He had misunderstood the doctor when he said "I do probe Ono."

What's the prognosis, Doc?

DOCTOR: You've got cancer. ME: WHAT ! DOCTOR: Haha. Jk. I'm not a doctor.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did ygritte break up with Jon Snow?

She didn't want six inches of snow all year long.

Why did the cowboy get a wiener dog?

Cause he wanted to get along little doggie.