What kind of dog lives in a particle accelerator?

A Fermilabrador Retriever.

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What's the difference between a dog and a marine biologist?

One wags it's tail, while the other tags a whale

How did the dog make gold soup?

He put in 24 carrots.

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Why couldn't the philosopher make a living?

He made no sense. I tried, I really did.

Where did the engine go after he retired?

To live in a motor home

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What kind of bear is best?

One that gets you an oscar

What kind of gum do astronauts chew?

Hubble Bubble