What laxative did the constipated man ask for?

Poop-ease

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How many "All Lives Matter" protesters does it take to change a light bulb?

None, because they keep on asking why all of the other light bulbs in the house aren't being changed at the same time.

How many plug-in air fresheners does it take to mask the decay of human flesh?

I'm asking for for a friend.

Constipate Jokes More Constipate Jokes

What do mathematicians do when they are constipated?

They get a pencil and work it out.

Why the carpenter is always constipated?

Because his stool so hard!

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What is the best remedy for cough?

A laxative.

How do you get money out of a piggy bank?

Feed it laxatives.