What light through yonder window breaks?

ME:Well if you'd just sod off like I asked, I wouldn't have to throw lamps at you.

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Light Jokes More Light Jokes

What's the Primary Directive in a nunnery (convent) ?

Lights out at nine, candles out at ten ...

How do you make a cat woof?

soak it in gasoline and light it on fire... WOOF!

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What did the pig do when a beetle landed in his feed trough?

He ate it quickly before the others could ask him to share.

What did Blake Edwards say when asked if he had a roomate?

Yes, I have a rhuuuum, mate!

Throw Jokes More Throw Jokes

Why did the blonde get thrown out of the M & M factory?

A. She kept throwing out all the W's.

How is playing a bagpipe like throwing a javelin blindfolded?

A. You don't have to be very good to get people's attention.

Lamp Jokes More Lamp Jokes

How many feminists you need to change a lamp?

That's not funny..."

Why don't lamps talk?

They're antisocial lights.