Lamp Jokes

What do you call an Aboriginal in a lamp?

And Abori-genie.

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How many Gentlesirs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Screw is such a harsh word, M'Lightbulb. I have too much respect for lamps to use it." Tips fedora

How will an IT guy fix a lamp?

He'll restart the nuclear power plant

How many feminists you need to change a lamp?

That's not funny..."

How many electricians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first off, it's called a lamp...

How do you turn on a lamp?

By seducing it

What do you get if you cross a lamp with a violin?

A: You get light music.

What light through yonder window breaks?

ME:Well if you'd just sod off like I asked, I wouldn't have to throw lamps at you.

What do you call a lamp you send in the mail?

Lamp post

Why don't lamps talk?

They're antisocial lights.

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New Zealand Jokes More New Zealand Jokes

What do you call a sheep tied to a lamp post in New Zealand?

A community centre

Why do New Zealand race horses run faster than other race horses?

They saw what happened to the sheep

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

When do the leaves begin to turn?

The night before a test.

How do you turn a fox into an elephant?

Marry it.

Aladdin Jokes More Aladdin Jokes

Why was Aladdin disqualified from the Rio Olympics?

He was on performance-enhancing rugs.

What was Aladdin called after he went Vegan?

Saladdin.

Hurt Jokes More Hurt Jokes

How does a one liner hurt its readers?

With its punchline

What is ISIS?

They are Radical!!! Please don't hurt me....

Seduce Jokes More Seduce Jokes

How do you turn on a lamp?

By seducing it

Who seduces all the ladies at the swimming pool?

Don Juan de Marco Polo.

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many political idealists does it take to change a light bulb?

None, political idealists can't change anything.

How many Ricks from TWD does it take to change a light bulb?

Carl gets shot in the face.

Nuclear Power Plant Jokes More Nuclear Power Plant Jokes

How will an IT guy fix a lamp?

He'll restart the nuclear power plant

What has 3 thumbs and was born near a nuclear power plant?

This guy

Feminist Jokes More Feminist Jokes

What does a feminist and a landmine have in common?

They explode when triggered.

Why do feminists only drive cars with automatic transmissions?

It pains them to have standards.