Why would somebody punch a sheep?

Ewe wouldn't understand.

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Punch Jokes More Punch Jokes

How much credibility is there in that whole "you can punch yourself handsome" theory?

Asking for a friend.

Why were Jeremy Clarkson's colleagues excited to try his mulled wine?

Because they'd been floored by his punch.

Understand Jokes More Understand Jokes

Why did the student fail his physics test?

He didn't understand the gravity of the situation.

What do you call a bee that has been run over by a car?

Bee flat Music joke for those who don't understand. B flat is a note.

Somebody Jokes More Somebody Jokes

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic, and a dyslexic?

Somebody who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question whether or not theres a dog.

What sound do dogs make?

3-year-old: Woof woof. Me: Horses 3: Neigh. Me: Pigs 3: Sizzle sizzle. Somebody understands bacon.

Sheep Jokes More Sheep Jokes

Why Do Scottish people wear kilts?

Because a sheep can hear a zipper go down a mile away.

How do you make a sheep jump off a cliff?

Put a redneck behind it.

Ewe Jokes More Ewe Jokes

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottsman?

Mick Jagger says "Hey, you, get off of my cloud!" A Scottsman says "Hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe!"

What does the Scottish man say after love making?

I love ewe!