New Zealand Jokes

How do men in New Zealand address their women?

Hey! Ewe!"

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What do you call a shorn sheep in a New Zealand bar?

A skimpy.

Why do New Zealand farmers now wear kilts?

Because the sheep have gotten used to the sound of zippers

What would New Zealand be called if it had a fascist government?

Not Zealand.

What do you call a sheep tied to a lamp post in New Zealand?

A community centre

Why do they wear skirts in New Zealand?

Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

Why do New Zealand race horses run faster than other race horses?

They saw what happened to the sheep

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New Zealanders Jokes More New Zealanders Jokes

What's big, white and f**ks New Zealanders?

Mt. Erebus

Why do New Zealanders have so many furry conventions?

Because they're kiwis.

Tie Jokes More Tie Jokes

What do you call 10 Ethiopians tied together?

A raft

What kind of tie does a ghost wear to a formal party?

A boo-tie.

Post Jokes More Post Jokes

How do you know if a redditor gave money to Bernie Sanders?

Just wait 5 minutes. They'll post about it.

Why do white people like cheese so much?

Because they're made from cultures! Edit: Five BLM members disliked this post.

Credit Jokes More Credit Jokes

What do you call a three humped camel?

Pregnant. (Credit goes to the trailer of Zootopia)

How many "friend zone" guys does it take to put in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter how many. They just compliment it and get mad when it won't screw.

Laugh Jokes More Laugh Jokes

Why was the atom laughing?

Because part tickles.

Why do I not laugh at your jokes anymore?

Because I've "reddit" before

Kilt Jokes More Kilt Jokes

Why do Scottish men wear kilts?

Because their sheep can hear zippers.

How can you tell what clan a Scottish man is from?

Look under his kilt and if he has a quarter pounder then he is a McDonald.

New Zealander Jokes More New Zealander Jokes

What do you call a New Zealander with a sheep under each arm?

A pimp.

What do you call a smart Australian?

A New Zealander

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why did the farmer use a steam roller?

He wanted to grow mashed potatoes.

Which came first. . . social media or dumb people?

AND which is worse. . . the overdoing of selfies OR not knowing how to use the English language