Email Jokes

How do Buddhist monks send emails?

They remove all attachments.

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Why can't you email a photo to a Jedi?

Because attachments are not allowed.

What is a rapper's favorite Email?

Gmail

What's the difference beetwen public official and private employee?

Private employee starts work checking email. Public official starts works making a coffee.

Why do Gypsy's walk funny?

Because of their Crystal Balls EDIT: I'm not sure if anyone's posted this before my mum's sister emailed her from across the globe.(New Zealand) I laughed so hard I thought I'd put it here. Credit goes to my Mum's sister though.

How do you email a sandwich?

In bytes.

Why are all the users of Ashley Madison worried about their emails leaking?

They will be millionaires when the Nigerian princes finish downloading the file.

This joke may have profanity.

What do you call a grandpa who couldn't understand why his email wanted to upload his attachment to share it?

An old man yelling at the cloud

Why couldn't the Buddhist monk send his mother a birthday card via email?

He had no attachments.

Why can't you email a picture to a jedi?

Because attachments are forbidden.

Why couldn't the depressed person get his email?

He had a bad Outlook.

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How do Itallian chefs swap emails?

By spaghett-e-mail!

Why couldn't Hillary rig the election like she rigged the DNC?

She deleted that email.

Why can't you email jokes to a jedi?

Because attachments are forbidden

How does Dalai Lama send emails?

With no attachments.

What folder do emails from histrionic venture capitalists go in?

deleted

How do you call it when you get a eMail from a Women?

FeMail.

Why did you burn that building down?

Me: Because they keep sending emails after unsubscribing. Cop: You're free to go.

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Find Jokes More Find Jokes

Why could the crab not find a pair of shoes in his size?

Child labor laws forced all the shoe factories to shut down.

How do you find the defendant?

Jury Foreman: Well...I guess I just look right at him. Why -- isn't that how you do it

Execute Jokes More Execute Jokes

What was the REAL reason Harambe was executed?

He found Hillary's emails

How do Asians execute white people?

They cut off their heads using a Gweilotine.

Sandwich Jokes More Sandwich Jokes

How do we know God is not a woman?

Because the Earth is not a sandwich!

What does a Super Saiyan always put on his sandwich?

Ka-Mayomayo

Crystal Ball Jokes More Crystal Ball Jokes

Why do clairvoyants have crystal balls?

So they can see what's coming.

Why don't gypsies use condoms ?

They have crystal balls so they see it coming.

Real Reason Jokes More Real Reason Jokes

What is the real reason leaves fall to the ground?

They know people will blow them.

What was the REAL reason Harambe was executed?

He found Hillary's emails

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Where do tech guys with diarrhea go to work?

IBM

What is it called when the police work overtime?

Copper Nitrate.

Mum Jokes More Mum Jokes

Why are you crying Ted ?

asked his mum. 'Because my new sneakers hurt.' 'That's because you have put them on the wrong feet.' 'But they are the only feet I have.'

Why did the biscuit cry?

His mum had been a wafer too long.

Cloud Jokes More Cloud Jokes

What do Bill Gates and the Pope have in common?

They've both put their faith in the cloud.

What do clouds wear under their pants?

Thunderwear!