New Zealanders Jokes

What's big, white and f**ks New Zealanders?

Mt. Erebus

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Why do New Zealanders have so many furry conventions?

Because they're kiwis.

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Run Jokes More Run Jokes

How are Americans and poles similar?

Running into one could really ruin your day.

Why is a dog like a baseball player?

He runs for home when he sees the catcher coming.

Lamp Post Jokes More Lamp Post Jokes

What do you call a lamp you send in the mail?

Lamp post

What is the preferred newspaper of lighting fixtures?

The Lamp Post.

New Zealander Jokes More New Zealander Jokes

What do you call a New Zealander with a sheep under each arm?

A pimp.

What do you call a smart Australian?

A New Zealander

Gypsy Jokes More Gypsy Jokes

Why do Gypsy's walk funny?

Because of their Crystal Balls EDIT: I'm not sure if anyone's posted this before my mum's sister emailed her from across the globe.(New Zealand) I laughed so hard I thought I'd put it here. Credit goes to my Mum's sister though.

What do you get if you push a gypsy off a bike?

Your bike back

Tie Jokes More Tie Jokes

What's the difference between an Engineering student and an Arts student when tying their shoes?

The arts student gets a mark for it.

Why couldn't the hippie reach his tie dyed T-shirt?

Because it was Far Out!

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

What did the zombie say when he walked into the wrong tomb?

I have made a grave mistake.

What did one flea say to the other flea when they came out of the movies?

A: Should we walk home or take a dog

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What does a dog do that a man steps in?

Pants

What does it mean when a man is in your bed, gasping for air, and calling your name?

You didn't hold down the pillow for long enough.

Mum Jokes More Mum Jokes

Why are you crying Ted ?

asked his mum. 'Because my new sneakers hurt.' 'That's because you have put them on the wrong feet.' 'But they are the only feet I have.'

What did you do today?

Mum: Well, the builders that moved the garage came over and I paid them for their work done.