What's a schizophrenic's favorite Christmas song?

Do You Hear what I Hear?

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Why did Kim Jong-il die a week before December 25th?

Because Rudolph is the only deer leader at Christmas.

What did the Blind, Deaf man get for Christmas?

Cancer

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What was the last thing a blonde heard before dying of old age?

A: "Today children we will learn our ABC's"

Why does everybody else get the brunt of the jokes?

Let me hear something different.