What's the best part about sleeping with a Cubs fan?

They're used to disappointment.

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

How do pianists remember which groceries to buy?

They use a Chopin Liszt!

Why does Bernie Sanders use Snapchat?

Damn E-mails!

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

What's the difference between hard and light?

I can sleep with a light on.

What does Bill Cosby do when he can't sleep at night?

He finishes her drink EDIT: Apparently this is Conan's joke, so all credit goes to him. I just heard it from a friend of mine and I had no idea.

Good Jokes More Good Jokes

What's the good part about having alzheimer's?

You can hide your own easter eggs.

What's the best side of the house to build a deck on?

The outside

Cub Jokes More Cub Jokes

Why are the bears such a bad football team?

Because when they were little, they were cubs. I'm so sorry

How much did the Cubs pay the devil to win the World Series?

2016

Disappointment Jokes More Disappointment Jokes

What do you call a crappy skin cream?

Disappointment

How many disappointments can you fit into a van?

I don't know, I can't get them outside of the house.

Cub Fan Jokes More Cub Fan Jokes

What's the best thing about being a Cubs fan?

Not being from Detroit.

What's the best part about sleeping with a Cubs fan?

They're used to disappointment.