What's the best thing about being a Cubs fan?

Not being from Detroit.

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What's the best thing about Switzerland?

I don't know, but their flag is a huge plus.

What's the best thing to put into a pizza?

Your teeth.

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What do you call a bad Cubs game?

Unbearable

What is the difference between a polar bear and the World Series?

One has cubs

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What do you call Detroit's trash?

Detroitus

Why haven't you pulled over yet?

I said, "Because we're still in Detroit."

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What's the best thing about being a Cubs fan?

Not being from Detroit.

What's the best part about sleeping with a Cubs fan?

They're used to disappointment.