Detroit Jokes

Why did all the Black people move to Detroit?

Because they heard there were no jobs there.

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How did the sun die?

It went to Detroit.

What do you call Detroit's trash?

Detroitus

Why wasn't Jesus born in Detroit?

Because God couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin.

Where do people in Detroit get their groceries?

They don't.

How can you tell if you're in Detroit or across the river in Windsor Ontario Canada?

Stand in the middle of the street. If someone yells, "hey, get out of the street" you're in the US. If they yell, "get out of the street, eh" you're in Canada

Whats the worst part about a black out in Detroit?

All the pairs of floating eyes

What is the difference between Detroit and Cleveland?

5 years.

What's the best thing about being a Cubs fan?

Not being from Detroit.

Why haven't you pulled over yet?

I said, "Because we're still in Detroit."

Where did you get him?

The parrot says, "Detroit."

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What is the most confusing holiday in Detroit?

Labor Day.

What do Detroit and the Olympics have in common?

You hear a gunshot and see a bunch of black guys running

Why are there so many black people in Detroit?

It's because they heard there was no jobs there.

Which American city did Japan ruin?

Detroit

What are 5 "Ms" from Detroit?

GM, Eminem and Michael Moore.

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How many spoiled rich girls does it take... ...to change a light bulb?

Just one, she yells, "DAAAAADDY, I need a new house!"

What's the difference between my guitar and my girlfriend?

My guitar doesn't yell at me when I snap it's g-string

Grow Jokes More Grow Jokes

What did the acorn say when it grew up?

Geometry

What exactly do you have to plant to grow a seedless watermelon?

Just water

Bunch Jokes More Bunch Jokes

What do you call a bunch of rabbits hopping backwards?

A receding hairline.

What's the difference between... What's the difference between a women's track team and a pack of intelligent pygmies?

The pygmies are a bunch of cunning runts...

Labor Day Jokes More Labor Day Jokes

What day do most mothers give birth?

Labor day.

What is the most confusing holiday in Detroit?

Labor Day.

People Jokes More People Jokes

How many people in Brazil shave?

A Brazilian.

Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!

4th Jokes More 4th Jokes

Whose bad idea was it to text him a 4th time just in case his phone was being weird?

Tequila, I'm looking at you.

What's the 4th grade essay in the Detroit School District?

What I want to be *if* I grow up.

American Jokes More American Jokes

Why don't Americans like their dollar coin?

They're afraid of change.

What did the American accountant say to his British counterpart?

Mind the GAAP.

Cub Jokes More Cub Jokes

What do you call a bad Cubs game?

Unbearable

What's the best thing about being a Cubs fan?

Not being from Detroit.