Japan Jokes

Why does nobody in Japan use Siri?

Because they can't take it seriousry.

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Why are locksmiths in Japan cooler than the rest of the world's locksmiths?

Because in Japan they're rocksmiths.

Why aren't there any feminists in Japan?

Whale huntings legal

Why doesn't Japan have elections?

I dunno but it's probably the reason for their low birth rates.

Why are there no feminists in Japan?

Because they hunt whales.

How do Mexican dogs say "hello" when in Japan?

Konnichihuahua

Why did they build a shrine to karl marx in Japan?

Because he was a kami!

Why did Bill Cosby go to Japan with a bag of roofies?

He had Jello fever!

Why is the US so much better at the accurate placement of round objects than Japan?

We had two practices in 1945

What did the Japan team say after the first half of the Women's World Cup?

I, 4-1, know we won't win."

Why hasn't Nintendo released a Mario themed basketball video game?

Because Japan isn't good at basketball.

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What did Japan say when it heard the US had an atomic bomb?

Did you make that Fermi?

What food guide does a Chicagoan need in Japan?

A Ramen Manual.

What do you call a stock market crash in Japan?

The "My Yen" Apocalypse

Who's Angry in Japan?

The director of Life of Pi.

What's the latest big thing to sweep across Japan?

The ocean.

What do Japan and Shaq have in common?

Kobe Beef

Where do pots go on vacation?

JaPAN! From my 9 year old.

Why are snakes so difficult to pick up in Japan?

Because in Japan, snakes are hebi.

What are rich people called in Japan?

Milyennaires

What did the American call Karl Marx when a shrine was dedicated to him in Japan?

A Kami.

Why does Japan have a high life expectancy?

It is full of anti - occidents

Who knows... Maybe Japan hacked Sony?

Yeah... Lets blame Sony.

What do they call the Hunger Games in Japan?

Battle Royale with cheese

What is the most popular band in Japan?

Fall Out Boy

What did the tsunami say to Japan?

nothing, it waved. Happy Thursday all.

Which American city did Japan ruin?

Detroit

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why did voldermort used Twitter instead of Facebook?

Because he only had followers. Not friends.

What do you use when you have dry eyes?

Moist-your-eyes-er

Roofy Jokes More Roofy Jokes

What is Bill Cosby's favorite flavor of ice cream?

Ten Roofies.

What do you call a pretzel with roofies in it?

Forget-me-knots!

Reason Jokes More Reason Jokes

What is your best trait?

Me: Procrastination. B: How is that a positive M: I'll give you my reasons. Later.

What do you get when you cross a Jehovah's Witness with a Unitarian?

Someone who knocks on your door at 6 a.m. for no reason.

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

What do you call a semi truck with it's load half empty?

Pessimist Prime

What is the height of honesty?

A: A pregnant lady takes one and a half ticket in the bus Q: What is the height of dishonesty A: She gives birth to twins

Bag Jokes More Bag Jokes

What's the difference between a bag of dead babies and a mercedes?

I don't have a mercedes in my garage!

What's purple and sequels?

A skinned baby in a bag of salt. *squeals

Fermi Jokes More Fermi Jokes

Why are astrophysicists always nervous before they launch a new satellite?

It can be a very Hubble-ing experience. These jokes may not be funny for you, but they are Fermi.

What did Japan say when it heard the US had an atomic bomb?

Did you make that Fermi?

Kami Jokes More Kami Jokes

What did the American call Karl Marx when a shrine was dedicated to him in Japan?

A Kami.

Why did they build a shrine to karl marx in Japan?

Because he was a kami!

Practice Jokes More Practice Jokes

What do you call Triple H practicing for a WWE match?

Preparation H

Why was the Sublime cover band so bad?

They don't practice Santeria.