Japan Jokes

Why does nobody in Japan use Siri?

Because they can't take it seriousry.

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Why are locksmiths in Japan cooler than the rest of the world's locksmiths?

Because in Japan they're rocksmiths.

Why aren't there any feminists in Japan?

Whale huntings legal

Why doesn't Japan have elections?

I dunno but it's probably the reason for their low birth rates.

Why are there no feminists in Japan?

Because they hunt whales.

How do Mexican dogs say "hello" when in Japan?

Konnichihuahua

Why did they build a shrine to karl marx in Japan?

Because he was a kami!

Why did Bill Cosby go to Japan with a bag of roofies?

He had Jello fever!

Why is the US so much better at the accurate placement of round objects than Japan?

We had two practices in 1945

What did the Japan team say after the first half of the Women's World Cup?

I, 4-1, know we won't win."

Why hasn't Nintendo released a Mario themed basketball video game?

Because Japan isn't good at basketball.

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What did Japan say when it heard the US had an atomic bomb?

Did you make that Fermi?

What food guide does a Chicagoan need in Japan?

A Ramen Manual.

What do you call a stock market crash in Japan?

The "My Yen" Apocalypse

Who's Angry in Japan?

The director of Life of Pi.

What's the latest big thing to sweep across Japan?

The ocean.

What do Japan and Shaq have in common?

Kobe Beef

Where do pots go on vacation?

JaPAN! From my 9 year old.

Why are snakes so difficult to pick up in Japan?

Because in Japan, snakes are hebi.

What are rich people called in Japan?

Milyennaires

What did the American call Karl Marx when a shrine was dedicated to him in Japan?

A Kami.

Why does Japan have a high life expectancy?

It is full of anti - occidents

Who knows... Maybe Japan hacked Sony?

Yeah... Lets blame Sony.

What do they call the Hunger Games in Japan?

Battle Royale with cheese

What is the most popular band in Japan?

Fall Out Boy

What did the tsunami say to Japan?

nothing, it waved. Happy Thursday all.

Which American city did Japan ruin?

Detroit

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Roofy Jokes More Roofy Jokes

What do you call a pretzel with roofies in it?

Forget-me-knots!

Why did Bill Cosby go to Japan with a bag of roofies?

He had Jello fever!

Win Jokes More Win Jokes

What does that tell you?

4-year-old: I won.

What does Lebron James do after winning the NBA Championship?

He turns off his Xbox.

Theme Jokes More Theme Jokes

What direction does a Walter White-themed GPS tell you to turn?

Goddamn right.

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when invited to the musician themed costume party?

I'll be Bach

Mario Jokes More Mario Jokes

What kind of pants does Mario wear?

Denim Denim. Denim

What device does Mario use to communicate with the dead?

A Lou-ouija board.

Rest Jokes More Rest Jokes

How are men like carpet tiles?

If you lay them properly the first time around you can walk all over them for the rest of your life.

Why was the teacher arrested for writing in permanent marker?

He wrote "1 + 0 = 0" and then spent the rest of the lesson trying to rub one out...

Bag Jokes More Bag Jokes

What's the difference between a four year old and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out a window.

Whats the difference between a baby and a 10g of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldnt let a bag full of cocaine fall off the window

4 Jokes More 4 Jokes

How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to handle the bulb and 4 to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.

What has 3 arms, 1 hat, 2 shirts, 1 jacket, 1 scarf, 1 gun, and 4 ears?

The Tchernobyl cowboy.

Reason Jokes More Reason Jokes

Why do they say 'Amen' at the end of a prayer instead of 'Awomen'?

A: The same reason they sing Hymns instead of Hers!

Why doesn't Japan have elections?

I dunno but it's probably the reason for their low birth rates.