What's the difference between this morning and your wife?

I'm not coming in *this morning*"

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

Whats the difference between a tribe of pygmies and a women's track team?

A tribe of pygmies is a bunch of cunning runts.

What's the difference between a chicken and a hen?

The spelling.

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What did the cannibal's wife give her husband when he came home late for dinner?

A. The cold shoulder.

Why do drummers carry transparent lunchboxes?

So they know if they are going to the gig, or coming from it. Ta-boom!

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What the hell are you two doing?

He demanded. His wife turned to the stranger and said, "See, I told you he was stupid."

When my wife does our daughter's hair: "How about a double French braid swirled into a fancy bun?

When I do her hair: "How about a hat "

Morning Jokes More Morning Jokes

What does Tim Cook have for breakfast in the morning?

Not Apple Jacks

What is the definition of torque?

When you wake up in the morning with an erection so stiff, that when you bend it down to take a leak, your legs kick back and you hit your head on the toilet.