What's the difference between this morning and your wife?

I'm not coming in *this morning*"

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between autumn and fall?

The twin towers didn't autumn

What's the difference between a little kid and a lesbian?

A little kid shouldn't run with scissors, a lesbian shouldn't scissor with the runs.

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What do you give an alligator who is having trouble hearing?

A gator-aid. Bet you did see that one coming:P

How's your homophone needlepoint project coming along?

Sew sew

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Whats the difference between a burglar and an ex-wife?

At least the burglar has the decency to leave you the house.

What happened when the husband tried to deep fry his wife?

She went to the battered women's shelter

Morning Jokes More Morning Jokes

Who's there ! Alison ! Alison who ?

Alison to my radio in the mornings !

Why don't you chat with us in the kitchenette in the morning?

Me: Because I'm not paid to be your friend & you say kitchenette.