What's the fastest way to heaven?

It depends on the flight delays.

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How do senior citizens handle indoor skydiving?

Depends

What is the value of Pi?

Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99

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Why'd the lawyer go to Heaven?

Hell was full.

What's the fastest way to heaven?

It depends on the flight delays.

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What is the fastest way to lose pounds?

Leave EU.

What was Roe v. Wade really about?

The fastest way to get across a river.