What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning?

Walks home.

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Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

How do you drive this thing?

Two soldiers are in a tank. One turns to the other and says "GLUGGLUGBLUGBWOOABB"

What's the one thing you don't want to hear when fighting with your wife on a long road trip?

Recalculating route.

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

How many retweets to let me take your sister to prom?

A student walks up to his friend a week before prom and asks, "Hey, how many Twitter retweets do i have to get to take your sister to prom?" His friend says, "Dude, she was abducted! She's been missing 3 weeks, you know this!" The student says, "So you're saying if i find her, i can take her?"

What has a million legs but can't walk?

Jerry's Kids.

Morning Jokes More Morning Jokes

What would the blind man say every morning when he walked past the fish market?

Good morning, ladies!"

Why didn't you stop when I shouted at you back there?

Motorist: I thought you were saying "Good morning Mr. Mayor." Cop: Right. I wanted to warn you about going too fast through the next town.