What's the shortest Tom Cruise joke?

He walks into a bra.

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What would the blind man say every morning when he walked past the fish market?

Good morning, ladies!"

What do you call an arrogant criminal walking down the stairs?

A condescending con descending.

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What did the bra say to the top hat?

You go on ahead, I'll give these two a lift.

What did the bra say to the toupee?

You go on ahead, I'll hold these two up.

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Why did Katie Holmes divorce Tom Cruise?

She heard he was in a few good men.

Why was Tom Cruise hired by Volkswagen?

Emission Impossible