What is a carpenters dream girl?

What is a carpenters dream girl? Flat as a board, skinny as a nail and easy to screw.

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Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many Bernie supporters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One to hold the lightbulb, and the rest of the world to revolve around them

How many amateur masochists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one; But it takes a WHOLE E.R. room to extract it afterwards. Double joke! "whole... hole." it's a play on words ;)

Nail Jokes More Nail Jokes

What is Jesus's go-to pickup line?

Would you like me to show you what it feels like to get nailed?

What do you call a baby deer's droppings?

FawnDoo! Nailed it.

Board Jokes More Board Jokes

What do you call the crucified baby Jesus?

Baby on board.

Why doesn't Jesus play hockey?

He's always nailed to the boards....