What happened when Jesus 'screwed' around?

He got *nailed*.

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Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happened to the Marine that took a laxative?

He was relieved of doodie.

What happens if you play a country song backward?

You get your house back, your dog back, your wife back, and you sober up.

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many mods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

removed

How many people from Brazil does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A Brazilian!

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What was the most pivotal point in Jesus' ministry?

When he turned the tables on the Temple vendors!

Why dosn't Jesus christ play hockey?

Because he'd always get nailed into the boards

Nail Jokes More Nail Jokes

Why did Jesus stop playing hockey?

Because he kept getting nailed to the boards.

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.