What was the first joke ever written?

Ugh, Ugh Ugh? Uggh!

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What do you call a lawyer up to his neck in cement?

Not enough cement EDIT: Okay thanks for pointing out that I messed up the wording but the joke is supposed to be the funny part

What's the creepiest body of water?

Lake Eerie. Note: This joke has probably been made before.

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What's a hotdog's best subject in school?

History. Because history has always been written by wieners.

Why shouldn't you write with a dull pencil?

It's pointless

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When she approached my car window I asked what's wrong officer?

She said "ugh nothing!"

How do you know when you're turning 40?

When your candy jar is filled with Tums..... My wife just came up with that one... Birthday is next week.. Ugh