When she approached my car window I asked what's wrong officer?

She said "ugh nothing!"

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What did the depressed, illiterate pepperoni slice say when asked where he was with his life?

Well it pizza heck out of me.

What did the grocery store owner say to the customer that asked him if he sold tires?

He shrugged and said, "I've got asparagus."

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Why is it the only thing a woman wants out of a man these days is security?

Well it's the first thing they say when I approach them.

What did the Buddhist monk say when he approached the hotdog stand?

Make me one with everything.

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What did the asian say when he saw a line at the local soup kitchen?

Ugh.... Pho queue...

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When your candy jar is filled with Tums..... My wife just came up with that one... Birthday is next week.. Ugh

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What does a frog say when it washes car windows?

Rub it rub it rub it.

When she approached my car window I asked what's wrong officer?

She said "ugh nothing!"