Ugh Jokes

What was the first joke ever written?

Ugh, Ugh Ugh? Uggh!

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What did the asian say when he saw a line at the local soup kitchen?

Ugh.... Pho queue...

When she approached my car window I asked what's wrong officer?

She said "ugh nothing!"

What happened out there?

I dont kn-OMG WHAT IS THAT *interviewer doesnt look* Ugh didnt work on u either

How do you know when you're turning 40?

When your candy jar is filled with Tums..... My wife just came up with that one... Birthday is next week.. Ugh

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What has one eye but can't see?

A blind man... I'll show myself out... TO SEE YOU BACK NEXT WEEK!!

Why repent?

I pented just last week.

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Why does the Pope kiss the ground when he gets off his plane?

You would too if you had to fly Alitalia.

What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day?

Hog and kisses!

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

Why is a man's pee yellow, and his sperm white?

So he can tell if he's coming or going.

What do you name a deaf dog?

It doesn't matter, he ain't coming anyways.

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

Why do people at work always laugh at my jokes?

Because they're paid to.

What kind of joke do you tell to a vegetarian?

One they've never herbivore.

Write Jokes More Write Jokes

What's a cats most common written thought?

mmmnhhhhgcdddxxdtyyhhbvbbb

What do you call an article written about a dead astronaut?

An -tuary!

Asian Jokes More Asian Jokes

What's Asian on top and black on bottom?

IQ distribution graph

What do you call an Asian getting mugged?

Black and Yellow

Approach Jokes More Approach Jokes

What did the pair of flip-flops say to the approaching man with disgusting feet?

Shoe.

How did the dog warn its master that a Gorilla was approaching?

He barked g-r-r-r-illa!

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

What's the difference between Bono and Jesus?

Jesus didn't walk around Dublin acting like he's Bono.

How does a Korean walk a dog?

With a little bit of oil.