Approach Jokes

Why didn't the approaching black hole concern the astronaut?

He didn't understand the gravity of the situation.

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How did Mars feel when the colonists were approaching?

Terra-fied.

What did the Buddhist monk say when he approached the hotdog stand?

Make me one with everything.

Why did the Kurd bury his music collection?

His tribesman said "ISIL is approaching, and they're coming for Yazidis."

What did inhabitants of an island in South-East Thailand say when they saw a tsunami approaching?

Oh, Phuket!

How did the dog warn its master that a Gorilla was approaching?

He barked g-r-r-r-illa!

When she approached my car window I asked what's wrong officer?

She said "ugh nothing!"

Why is it the only thing a woman wants out of a man these days is security?

Well it's the first thing they say when I approach them.

How do you know it's going to be a white christmas?

It's approaching with deceptive speed.

What did the pair of flip-flops say to the approaching man with disgusting feet?

Shoe.

What do you call a bag that never approaches anything?

an asymp-tote*

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What did Cinderella say as she was approaching the ball?

makes choking sounds*

What's the best angle to approach any challenge?

Try-Angle.

How do you approach an angry Welsh cheese?

Caerphilly.

What you hope someone might say about you when they approach your casket?

Hey, I think he moved.

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Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What did Mike Tyson say when asked about the time he fought the God of Asgard?

The loser was 'thore'"

Why do you need a door then?

I asked him.

R Jokes More R Jokes

Why couldn't R get to P?

He had to wait in a Q!

What word starts with N and ends with R and you never want to call a black guy?

Neighbor

Gorilla Jokes More Gorilla Jokes

What's the difference between a small child and a gorilla?

People actually care if a gorilla dies.

Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic?

The bear hug!

Solve Jokes More Solve Jokes

What do you call one Mexican on the moon?

A problem. What do you call two Mexicans on the moon? A bigger problem. What do you call all the Mexicans on the moon? Problem solved.

Why can't atheists solve quadratic equations?

They don't believe in higher powers.

Bark Jokes More Bark Jokes

What do you call a digital tree?

All bark and no byte

How do you find your dog if he's lost in the woods ?

Put your ear up to a tree and listen for the bark !

Intimidate Jokes More Intimidate Jokes

Who names hurricanes?

Are people actually supposed to be intimidated by something named Sandy

What was the scary guy on Tinder doing?

Intimidating others.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know which bear to talk to in a bar?

You have to read ursine.

How do you know it's safe to feed the ducks the same thing as the Canadian geese down at the pond?

Because what's good the goose is good for Merganser.

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

When Do You Hurt a Midget?

When He is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice!

What do you call it when Usain Bolt is standing next to your mom?

A runner in scoring position.