Approach Jokes

Why didn't the approaching black hole concern the astronaut?

He didn't understand the gravity of the situation.

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How did Mars feel when the colonists were approaching?

Terra-fied.

What did the Buddhist monk say when he approached the hotdog stand?

Make me one with everything.

Why did the Kurd bury his music collection?

His tribesman said "ISIL is approaching, and they're coming for Yazidis."

What did inhabitants of an island in South-East Thailand say when they saw a tsunami approaching?

Oh, Phuket!

How did the dog warn its master that a Gorilla was approaching?

He barked g-r-r-r-illa!

When she approached my car window I asked what's wrong officer?

She said "ugh nothing!"

Why is it the only thing a woman wants out of a man these days is security?

Well it's the first thing they say when I approach them.

How do you know it's going to be a white christmas?

It's approaching with deceptive speed.

What did the pair of flip-flops say to the approaching man with disgusting feet?

Shoe.

What do you call a bag that never approaches anything?

an asymp-tote*

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What did Cinderella say as she was approaching the ball?

makes choking sounds*

What's the best angle to approach any challenge?

Try-Angle.

How do you approach an angry Welsh cheese?

Caerphilly.

What you hope someone might say about you when they approach your casket?

Hey, I think he moved.

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Bury Jokes More Bury Jokes

Why do they bury lawyers 20 feet deep?

Because deep down, they're good people. Thanks Saul.

What did one shovel say to the other during a recurring fight?

Can we just bury this?

Fie Jokes More Fie Jokes

How did Mars feel when the colonists were approaching?

Terra-fied.

How did the Australian make the Olympics?

He koala-fied!!!!! Buh-duh-tss

Mar Jokes More Mar Jokes

What quality does Elon Musk look for in a woman?

He just wants her to be down to Mars

Why are there no cats on Mars?

Because there is no oxygen and they'd die from UV radiation, you idiot.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

Why is it best to ask photographers personal questions at night?

X-post r/photography) Because they open up when it gets dark.

How many people does it take to change a light bulb?

Is just one of the questions I should have asked before buying a lighthouse....

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

What did the Navy battleship captain say to his first mate during a skirmish?

OC I think I'm feeling C6

What did the doctor say When a fruit walked into his office that was feeling like a vegetable?

what's tomato with you !

Problem Jokes More Problem Jokes

What's the hardest part of a gardener's job?

Getting to the root of the problem.

What kind of back problem did the terrorist have?

Scoli-isis

Colonist Jokes More Colonist Jokes

How did Mars feel when the colonists were approaching?

Terra-fied.

How did King George view the colonists?

He thought they were revolting

Gravity Jokes More Gravity Jokes

Why is gravity so weak?

Because it doesn't lift

Why is everything lying on the floor?

my mom asked Gravity, I replied.