Gravity Jokes

Why didn't the approaching black hole concern the astronaut?

He didn't understand the gravity of the situation.

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What did the doctor say to the man who walked off the roof of his house?

I don't think you understand the gravity of the situation.

Why don't astronauts take anything seriously?

They don't grasp the gravity of the situation...

Why can't you give bad news to someone on the Moon?

It lacks gravity.

Why is gravity the weakest of the 4 fundamental forces?

Because it doesn't even lift.

Why is gravity so weak?

Because it doesn't lift

What is your least favorite force of nature?

A: Gravity. It's always bringing me down.

What did the black hole say to the pulsar?

I don't think you understand the gravity of your situation

What defies the law of gravity?

Women. They heavier they are, the easier they are to pick up.

Why did the bird get a ticket?

A: It broke the law of gravity!

Why did the student fail his physics test?

He didn't understand the gravity of the situation.

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How does gravity greet itself?

It just waves

Why is everything lying on the floor?

my mom asked Gravity, I replied.

Why wasn't the man considered attractive?

The laws of gravity didn't apply to him.

What do you call an evil physicist?

Sinner of Gravity

What is the only law that Hillary obeys?

The law of gravity

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity...

It's impossible to put down

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Universe Jokes More Universe Jokes

Why is the universe expanding?

It needs more space.

How many theoretical physicists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to hold the bulb and one to rotate the universe.

4 Jokes More 4 Jokes

What do you call 4 blondes laying on the beach?

A: Public access.

Which 4?

Employee: Electricity, Gas, Cable, Credit Card.

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

What did the doctor say to the man that broke his arm?

Be patient

What kind of doctor is always on call?

An oncologist.

Floor Jokes More Floor Jokes

What are these clothes on the floor?

A dead Jedi" I replied

What do you do when you see a black man lying on the floor?

You stop laughing and shoot him again.

Bring Jokes More Bring Jokes

What animal do psychiatrists bring in to mental hospitals to help patients with social anxiety?

Squirrels they're the best at getting nuts out of their shells.

How much longer?

Did you bring any snacks They want $5 for M&M's! I wanna go home Is it over yet - me watching my kids Christmas pageant

Greet Jokes More Greet Jokes

How do Israeli skiiers greet each other?

Shlalom! (Oy, that's terrible.)

How does a Redditor greet a woman from Kuala Lumpur?

M'alaydy

Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

What's the difference between a married man and a bachelor?

A bachelor will go to the fridge, sees nothing he wants, and go to bed A married man will go the bed, sees nothing he wants, and go the fridge!

What does it mean when a man is in your bed, gasping for air, and calling your name?

You didn't hold down the pillow for long enough.

Bad News Jokes More Bad News Jokes

How's my cat, Doc?

Vet: I have good news and bad news..

What did the doctor tell the panda bear after the results of his child's paternity test came back?

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the results are a bit grizzly.