Situation Jokes

Why didn't the approaching black hole concern the astronaut?

He didn't understand the gravity of the situation.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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What did the doctor say to the man who walked off the roof of his house?

I don't think you understand the gravity of the situation.

Why don't astronauts take anything seriously?

They don't grasp the gravity of the situation...

What do you call a pachyderm that has nothing to do with the situation?

Irrelelephant.

What did the black hole say to the pulsar?

I don't think you understand the gravity of your situation

What's the difference between woman's breasts and a box of matches?

The matches are made for adults, but kids constantly grab'em and play with them. The situation is quite opposite with breasts.

What did the mailman say when his Mail truck caught fire?

That he needed to address the situation

What are you doing, idiot?

me, to other drivers on the road "What are you doing, idiot " me, to myself, in all other situations

Why did the student fail his physics test?

He didn't understand the gravity of the situation.

Why did the atom stick around?

Cuz if he split, the situation would have gotten blown out of proportion.

How many bassoonists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one but they'll insist on going through about 5 bulbs before they find one that suits this particular room and situation.

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How many bureaucrats does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to assure that everything possible is being done about the situation and the other one to screw it into the faucet.

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Vietnamese Jokes More Vietnamese Jokes

What do you call people waiting in line for Vietnamese soup?

Pho queue.

Who loses in a basketball game between two Vietnamese guys?

No one... its Nguyen Nguyen!

House Jokes More House Jokes

Why is it I cant get a mobile reception in my house in town, yet a terrorist can upload his vids from a cave in Afganistan?

Is there a terrorist mobile tariff I can go on

What part of the house does a ghost not use?

The living room

Match Jokes More Match Jokes

Why do Italians throw pizza onto the field after they win a match?

Because they rain supreme.

How do you get an elephant into a matchbox ?

Take all the matches out first !

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops?

Guardians of the galaxy

What do you call a hypnotist that works with wealthy children during the summer?

an heir conditioner.

Approach Jokes More Approach Jokes

Why is it the only thing a woman wants out of a man these days is security?

Well it's the first thing they say when I approach them.

What did inhabitants of an island in South-East Thailand say when they saw a tsunami approaching?

Oh, Phuket!

Place Jokes More Place Jokes

How many narcissists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one. All he has to do is hold it in place while the world revolves around him.

Why has no one invented a device where I can move myself around from place to place while lying in a hammock?

I remember when we used to make stuff in this lazy country!

Grasp Jokes More Grasp Jokes

Why don't astronauts take anything seriously?

They don't grasp the gravity of the situation...

Why didn't the armless man get the joke?

He just couldn't grasp it.

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many Spanish people does it take to change a light bulb?

Just Juan.

How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one. But it takes about 8-10 visits.