Situation Jokes

Why didn't the approaching black hole concern the astronaut?

He didn't understand the gravity of the situation.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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What did the doctor say to the man who walked off the roof of his house?

I don't think you understand the gravity of the situation.

Why don't astronauts take anything seriously?

They don't grasp the gravity of the situation...

What do you call a pachyderm that has nothing to do with the situation?

Irrelelephant.

What did the black hole say to the pulsar?

I don't think you understand the gravity of your situation

What's the difference between woman's breasts and a box of matches?

The matches are made for adults, but kids constantly grab'em and play with them. The situation is quite opposite with breasts.

What did the mailman say when his Mail truck caught fire?

That he needed to address the situation

What are you doing, idiot?

me, to other drivers on the road "What are you doing, idiot " me, to myself, in all other situations

Why did the student fail his physics test?

He didn't understand the gravity of the situation.

Why did the atom stick around?

Cuz if he split, the situation would have gotten blown out of proportion.

How many bassoonists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one but they'll insist on going through about 5 bulbs before they find one that suits this particular room and situation.

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How many bureaucrats does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to assure that everything possible is being done about the situation and the other one to screw it into the faucet.

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Approach Jokes More Approach Jokes

What you hope someone might say about you when they approach your casket?

Hey, I think he moved.

What did the Buddhist monk say when he approached the hotdog stand?

Make me one with everything.

Event Jokes More Event Jokes

What is the difference between an event at the X Games and a sorrority?

One is a bunch of Cunning Stunts

What are your go to jokes?

I was at an event the other day and someone asked "So... anyone know any jokes?" What's everyone's "go to" joke in social situations?

Fix Jokes More Fix Jokes

What's the difference between a bad mechanic and a politician?

With the mechanic, there's a shot something might get fixed...

How do you fix a broken website?

With stick e-tape.

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many South American people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A Brazilian

How many population geneticists does it take to change a light bulb?

It's independent of population size.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What do you get if you cross a mosquito and a mountain climber?

No one knows. You can't cross a vector and a scalar.

What is the distinction between a man that has had a vasectomy and one who hasn't?

I don't know, as far as I'm concerned there's not a vas deferens.

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

Why Isn't The Media Covering This?

the media asks other media, peering into its media mirror, media-ing before a day of media in media.

Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?

Because then the children have to play inside.

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many black people are needed to change a light bulb?

One less now, because the one who tried to steal the light bulb was shot by the cops.

How many hippies does it take to change a light bulb?

Hippies can't change anything. And they smell bad.

Meet Jokes More Meet Jokes

What is the good thing about Alzheimer's disease?

That you get to meet new people everyday!

What did the sperm say to the egg?

Nice to meet you. Wanna make a baby?