Situation Jokes

Why didn't the approaching black hole concern the astronaut?

He didn't understand the gravity of the situation.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
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What did the doctor say to the man who walked off the roof of his house?

I don't think you understand the gravity of the situation.

Why don't astronauts take anything seriously?

They don't grasp the gravity of the situation...

What do you call a pachyderm that has nothing to do with the situation?

Irrelelephant.

What did the black hole say to the pulsar?

I don't think you understand the gravity of your situation

What's the difference between woman's breasts and a box of matches?

The matches are made for adults, but kids constantly grab'em and play with them. The situation is quite opposite with breasts.

What did the mailman say when his Mail truck caught fire?

That he needed to address the situation

What are you doing, idiot?

me, to other drivers on the road "What are you doing, idiot " me, to myself, in all other situations

Why did the student fail his physics test?

He didn't understand the gravity of the situation.

Why did the atom stick around?

Cuz if he split, the situation would have gotten blown out of proportion.

How many bassoonists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one but they'll insist on going through about 5 bulbs before they find one that suits this particular room and situation.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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How many bureaucrats does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to assure that everything possible is being done about the situation and the other one to screw it into the faucet.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What do you get if you cross a Rottweiller and a hyena ?

I don't know but I'll join in if it laughs !

What is the motto of the French navy?

To the water, it is time! Or in french... ... BWA HA HA HA. OK... I know this is kind a dad joke but.... yeah (for those don't speak French and thus don't get this, click the link and click the speaker to have it read to you ;) )

Meet Jokes More Meet Jokes

What do you get when The Dark Knight meets Edgar Allan Poe?

x-post from r/funny) Poetic Justice(http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblrme6ovqdnAp1rzkyaxo1500.png)

What do you call a girl that goes down right after you just met?

Ronda Rousey

Approach Jokes More Approach Jokes

What did inhabitants of an island in South-East Thailand say when they saw a tsunami approaching?

Oh, Phuket!

When she approached my car window I asked what's wrong officer?

She said "ugh nothing!"

Black Hole Jokes More Black Hole Jokes

What is condemned and overused yet as inescapable as a black hole?

clickbait --

What's denser than a black hole?

Your ex.

Event Jokes More Event Jokes

What do you say when an episode of explosive diarrhoea turns into a round of smooth poop?

What a wondrous *turd* of events.

What do you call a snake that studies past events?

A HISSSSStorian.

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

Why did a physician go to prison?

His medical license was doctored.

What does the Doctor use to keep things running smoothly in the T.A.R.D.I.S?

WD-4D

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

Why did the man break up with his girlfriend who had a lazy eye?

Because she was seeing somebody on the side.

What's the difference between a man falling from 100ft and a man falling from 10ft ?

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh - SMACK SMACK - aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Understand Jokes More Understand Jokes

What do you get if you cross a Sociologist with someone in the Mafia?

An offer you can't understand.

What jokes do you know that can only be understood if you know two (or more) languages?

Like a joke that involves a pun on a word that has different meanings in different languages. Please tell us what languages they are in.