Why is it the only thing a woman wants out of a man these days is security?

Well it's the first thing they say when I approach them.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What does a code-switching trilingual Russian say when he wants to increase his bovine supply?

Mas cow.

Why did the lady and her attorney seek a scarlet frock as part of a settlement?

A: Because she wanted a red dress for her grievances.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

Where did the man with an undecorated yard put his spare change?

His Hedge Fund.

Why are Cal Tech and MIT constantly Fighting?

Because MIT blames Cal Tech for stealing their Feynman, and there will never be another man as Fine.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What is the first thing a woman should do when she gets out of the Battered Women's Shelter?

The dishes, if she knows what's good for her.

What is the only thing easier to break than a Razer headset?

Your sister's hymen.

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What day is /r/Jokes favorite?

Earth Day, it's all about recycling!

What is the hottest time of day?

2:flirty

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What do you call a woman standing in the middle of at tennis court?

Annette!

How is a woman who got her winter coat at Target similar to an officer on leave?

They both got their fur low.

Approach Jokes More Approach Jokes

How do you approach an angry Welsh cheese?

Caerphilly.

When she approached my car window I asked what's wrong officer?

She said "ugh nothing!"

Security Jokes More Security Jokes

Why didn't the TSA let the chair through security?

It was armed.

Why is it the only thing a woman wants out of a man these days is security?

Well it's the first thing they say when I approach them.