Security Jokes

What do you call the security at a Samsung store?

Guardians of the Galaxy, or firefighters.

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Why do donut shops not hire security?

Because Cops go there willingly. Free security and protection.

Why is it the only thing a woman wants out of a man these days is security?

Well it's the first thing they say when I approach them.

Why didn't the TSA let the chair through security?

It was armed.

What do you call the security outside of a Samsung Store?

A: Guardians of the Galaxy.

Who are the real Guardians of the Galaxy?

Security at Samsung.

Why did the door to door sales man get nervous and run away?

He was selling In-Security Heh yeah i dunno i thought it up in a dream and I'm still half asleep bye

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Galaxy Jokes More Galaxy Jokes

What did Douglas Adams say after he finished writing the first chapter of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy?

Ah, I've finally put a dent in that book.

What do you call Samsung store security guards?

Guardians of the Galaxy.

Protection Jokes More Protection Jokes

What's the best form of protection when you don't have a condom?

A fake name

Why should all teenagers get a case for their cell phones?

Because they should use protection to practice safe text

Hire Jokes More Hire Jokes

When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him?

I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people......

What are the two things someone with a face tattoo never hears?

You're hired" "Not guilty"

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

Why did the cop shoot the insomniac?

He was resisting a rest

How many communists does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One guy to screw in the light bulb, and the other guy to shoot him if he doesn't do it right.

Shop Jokes More Shop Jokes

What was the blacksmith's slogan?

Shop here! You'll be Gladius you did!"

Why wait?

I'll take you clothes shopping right now".

Firefighter Jokes More Firefighter Jokes

What do you call a person who fights fire?

Firefighter.

What do you call the security at a Samsung store?

Guardians of the Galaxy, or firefighters.

Date Jokes More Date Jokes

Why did the plant use a dating service?

To find its stomate!

What do you call a dating app for neckbeards?

Tipper.

Guardian Jokes More Guardian Jokes

What do you call a security guard who works at Samsung?

a Guardian of the Galaxy

What's a zergling's favourite newspaper?

The Guardian.