Who are you and how do you get the time and money?

Teach me.

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Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What did the two lesbian vampires say to each other?

Same time next month?

What do you call a duck traveling south that enters a time warp and meets itself traveling north?

A pair of ducks.

Money Jokes More Money Jokes

What kind of writing makes the most money?

Ransom notes.

What kind of money do religious businesses make?

Prophet.

Teach Jokes More Teach Jokes

Why did God invent shopping carts?

To teach women how to walk on their hind legs.

What did the lions say to his cubs when he taught them to hunt ?

Don't go over the road till you see the zebra crossing.'