Why did Dave Grohl buy such a tall house?

He wanted to make sure he was getting the best, the best, the best, the best-a view.

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Why did I join Twitter?

Well I was sick of only being hated by coworkers and family so I wanted to branch out.

Why didn't Harry Potter want to date Hermione?

Because he likes to Hit it and Quidditch

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Who wants two tickets to the gun show?

I bought the Groupon but can't make it :(

What are the first words Jared Fogle's girlfriend said to him?

Would you like to buy some girl scout cookies, sir?"

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What did Dave Grohl say when he dropped his hoagie off a bridge?

There goes my Hero.

What did Dave Grohl say when someone stole his Greek food?

There goes my gyroooo