Why did the blond take a ruler to bed?

To see how long she slept.

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

What's red like a strawberry, hard like beef jerky, smells like vinegar, and is found under your bed?

Me neither. Help.

Why was the Police Officer still in bed?

Because he was .

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

What's a meth head's favourite thing about Halloween?

Only two more sleeps till Christmas!

What's the definition of innocence?

A nun working in a condom factory thinking she's making sleeping bags for mice.

Blond Jokes More Blond Jokes

What do you call a blond with one strand of hair dyed black?

A glimmer of hope

Why didn't the blond want to use her phone while using the bathroom?

She was afraid someone would steal her IP address.

Ruler Jokes More Ruler Jokes

Why did Princess Diana divorce Prince Charles?

She was always told a ruler was 12 inches!

Why can't anarchists draw straight lines?

Because they don't have any rulers.