Why did the blond take a ruler to bed?

To see how long she slept.

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

What did the agnostic, dyslexic insomniac do?

Lay awake in bed wondering if there really is a dog.

When does a bed grow longer?

A: At night, because two feet are added to it.

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

Whats the best thing about being addicted to speed?

Only one more sleep until Christmas!

What do Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?

They both know when you are sleeping.

Blond Jokes More Blond Jokes

Why didn't the blond call 911?

She couldn't find the 11 on the dial pad.

Why do ya reckon Blonds don't have elevator jobs?

A: Cos they've no idea of the route.

Ruler Jokes More Ruler Jokes

Who is the king of stationary?

The ruler.

Why did the boy take the ruler to bed?

He wanted to see how long he slept.