Why did the computer act crazy?

It had a screw loose.

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Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many Jersey girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. They'll screw anything

How many sycophants does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

How many do you want?

Computer Jokes More Computer Jokes

How does a woman differ from a computer?

You can actually punch information into a computer.

What is "attempted theft" exactly?

I mean it's not like you see school librarians seeing a student use Wikipedia on one of the computers and puts them in detention for "attempted plagiarism"

Act Jokes More Act Jokes

Who is the prettiest of my friends?

Me: your mother, why W: Stop acting like you're 12. M: (thinking) I dodged that bullet again.

What do you call the act of press-ganging someone into a monastery?

Force of habit.