Why did the cyclops close his school?

Because he only had one pupil! The joke is that I have no friends

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Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

Why does the mushroom have a lot of friends?

He's a fungi

What does Bill Cosby do when he can't sleep at night?

He finishes her drink EDIT: Apparently this is Conan's joke, so all credit goes to him. I just heard it from a friend of mine and I had no idea.

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

What do you call joke told by a duck?

A wise quack.

What's the best part of running a marathon?

Ha! You actually thought I ran a marathon! Jokes on you, I'm just drunk!

Close Jokes More Close Jokes

What's the most awkward aspect of bar-tending at an internet cafe?

You have to deal with people who forget to close their tabs.

Where'v you been all day?

At the beauty salon" "Were they closed! "

School Jokes More School Jokes

What did you do at school today?

Mark: We played a guessing game. Mom: But I thought you were having a math exam Mark: That's right.

What is the first thing that vampires learn at school?

The alphabat.

Pupil Jokes More Pupil Jokes

How can you make so many mistakes in just one day ?

Pupil: I get up early !

What is can't short for ?

Pupil: Cannot miss Teacher: and what is don't short for Pupil: Doughnut !

Cyclop Jokes More Cyclop Jokes

Why was the Cyclops a terrible teacher?

He only had one pupil.

Why did the cyclops close his school?

Because he only had one pupil! The joke is that I have no friends