Why did the fireman wear red, white, and blue suspenders?

To hold his pants up.

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Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.

How many theoretical physicists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to hold the bulb and one to rotate the universe.

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

What did Thor have to wear when he broke his tailbone?

An Asgard.

What does Captain Kirk wear to the fitness center?

Jim shorts.

Pant Jokes More Pant Jokes

What's 6 inches long hard, bent, and in my pants?

My iPhone 6

What happened to wendy on her way to neverland?

She peed her pants (read out loud)

Fireman Jokes More Fireman Jokes

Why did the fireman wear red, white, and blue suspenders?

To hold his pants up.

What did the fireman say when the church caught on fire?

Holy smoke!"