Why did Tim Cook fire an unpaid intern lately?

His name was Jack

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What do you call it when you use Icy Hot as lube?

Fire in the hole!

How did pinocchio find out that he was made out of wood?

His hand caught fire.

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What happened to the Guns 'n Roses tour bus when it got a flat tire and had to be jacked up?

Its axle rose.

What do you get when einstein jacks off?

a stroke of genius!!!!! (its terrible, i know)

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What's Tim Cook's new nickname?

Jack The Ripper

What cereal was removed from Tim Cook's breakfast?

Apple Jacks