Why do Buddhist monks have such sour faces?

Because they're acetic.

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What is the difference between a sociopath and a buddhist?

A sociopath sees people as things a buddhist sees things as people.

What did the Buddhist say when asked if he'd like to move from Tibet to North Korea?

Nah. I'ma stay.

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What does a Buddhist monk say when ordering a subway sandwich?

Make me one with everything*

How do Buddhist monks send emails?

They remove all attachments.