Buddhist Monk Jokes

How do Buddhist monks send emails?

They remove all attachments.

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Why did the Buddhist monk refuse Novocain?

Because he wanted to transcend dental medication.

What do you get if you cross a Buddhist monk and a 16 year old blonde cheerleader?

Arrested for procurement of a minor. Trust me on this one.

What do Buddhist monks have for breakfast?

Ommm' lettes!

What did the Buddhist monk say when he approached the hotdog stand?

Make me one with everything.

Why couldn't the Buddhist monk send his mother a birthday card via email?

He had no attachments.

What did the Buddhist monk say to the pizza guy?

Make me one with everything.

Why do Buddhist monks have such sour faces?

Because they're acetic.

How do Buddhist monks compare interests?

With zen diagrams!

What does a Buddhist monk say when ordering a subway sandwich?

Make me one with everything*

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Arrest Jokes More Arrest Jokes

Why did the duck get arrested?

because he was smoking quack!

Why couldn't the police arrest the drug dealer?

Because the evidence was under their noses (They sniffed the cocaine)

Transcend Jokes More Transcend Jokes

Why did the Buddhist monk refuse Novocain?

Because he wanted to transcend dental medication.

Why did the Buddhist refuse Novocaine?

He wanted to transcend dental medication.

Couch Jokes More Couch Jokes

What does the hippie say when you tell him to get off your couch?

Namaste (better to say it aloud)

Why would you be scared to get Ebola?

You haven't left your couch since 2011.

Breakfast Jokes More Breakfast Jokes

What do Buddhist monks have for breakfast?

Ommm' lettes!

What did King Arthur have for breakfast?

Eggcalibur.

Mother Jokes More Mother Jokes

What does your mother do for a living?

She sells shesells...I mean...Sea sells sea shells...dammit! She's...a beachside entrepreneur."

What do a slinky and your mother in law have in common?

They're both fun to watch tumble down stairs.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

How do bros want their drinks?

NOICE!!!!

Who wants to get enraged and go persecute Christians?

No one.

Send Jokes More Send Jokes

Why couldn't prehistoric man send birthday cards?

The stamps kept falling off the rocks!

What four letter word has made the biggest impact in the modern world?

Send.

Refuse Jokes More Refuse Jokes

Why did Einstein refuse to help people fix their cars?

Because his colleagues would call him the Quantum Mechanic.

What is the difference between ID and ED?

One of them is a flimsy thing that refuses to stand up on it's own. The other is a medical condition.