Why do politians hate the term "mudslinging"?

They don't want to get their hands dirty.

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What's the only major difference between Cinco de Mayo and Saint Patrick's day?

Nobody wants to pretend to be a Mexican for a day.

What's the last thing you want to see on the reddit frontpage?

This joke. PS: You don't think so Prove me wrong.

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What do you call a mummy that hates other peoples cooking?

Gordan Ramses

Why do mathematicians hate the U.S.?

Because it's indivisible.

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Why couldn't Jesus play marbles?

Because they kept falling through his hands.

Why can't the T-rex clap its hands?

Because it's dead.