What would Santa Claus be called if he had no hands?

Canta Plaus.

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Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

Why does Helen Keller play the piano with only one hand?

Because she uses the other one to sing.

What do you call a man holding two apples in one hand and three oranges in another?

No chance of blocking an uppercut.

Santa Claus Jokes More Santa Claus Jokes

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?

Claustrophobic

What does Santa Claus call his more thuggish elves?

Gangsta wrappers!

Source Jokes More Source Jokes

What did the circus owner say to the human-cannonball when the he wanted to retire?

How will I ever find another performer of your caliber? (Source: a dad on thanksgiving)

What do you call a crowd-sourced internet database for turntables?

Wiki-Wiki-Wikipedia

Https Jokes More Https Jokes

What does DNA Helicase and a 16 year old boy have in common?

the both want to unzip your genes. if you didnt get it: https://ca.answers.yahoo.com/question/index qid=20121209104938AAKihOC

What's the best way to get a hold of Vin Diesel?

IM Groot.